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Lauren Alaina marked one year without her father in an emotional post on Wednesday evening (July 23).
Alaina, 30, shared last year that her father, J.J. Suddeth, had died, âand I really donât have words yet.â She dropped out of a few of her scheduled performances to be with her family. She thanked friends and family who âchecked up on me and continued to show up for me,â when she spoke for the first time in the weeks after Suddethâs passing.
âIâve spent the last 365 days learning how to live in a world that doesn't have my daddy in it. Some days I still forget and reach for the phone to tell him something. Other days, I sit in the silence and let the grief come in,â Alaina wrote in a statement one year after the loss. âIâve learned that grief isnât loud. Itâs not always in the big moments. Itâs in the little things⌠the empty chair during a game, the first Alabama kickoff that I didnât get a âROLL TIDEâ text and not having someone to tell when I heard a new joke. Itâs the call I didn't get to make when I found out I was pregnant. Itâs the absence in the hospital when the grandparents came to meet my little girl. Itâs not saying Happy birthday, happy Fatherâs Day, Merry Christmas.
âItâs dreaming youâre here and waking up and remembering. Itâs life moving forward but your heart feeling stuck in what was. Itâs in the way I go about my days now. Slower. Softer. More aware of what truly matters and what doesnât,â she continued. âThereâs a version of me that existed before July 23, 2024. And then thereâs me now. This version of me handles things differently. I try to let go quicker. I laugh harder. I love more intentionally. I donât flinch at the âlittle thingsâ anymore. A car cuts me off, and I just let it go. Because I know that time is not promised, and life is too short to waste on anything that doesnât really matter.
âI canât call my dad anymore,â Alaina wrote. âI canât tell him about the things happening in my world right now, so I wrote him a song. Itâs called âLittle Things.â Itâs not just a song, itâs an open letter to him. A way of telling him how my heart and perspective have changed since he left us. I want him to know that his passing opened my eyes to so much. To prioritize my mental health. To call people back when I say Iâm going to. To share if Iâm struggling. To let go of things that donât matter and focus on what does. To be quick to forgive. To be kinder. To be slow to anger. To love harder and deeper. I hope he would be proud.
âI hope heâs up on a cloud listening to it right now and learning to play it on guitar,â she concluded. âLove you, Daddy. Pinky.â
Alaina and her husband, Cam Arnold, welcomed Baby No. 1 last month. The first-time parents named daughter Beni Doll Arnold after family members. Alaina, now grieving another âtremendous lossâ in her family, previously shared that âit has been such a hard year losing my dad in July. And we werenât even trying to get pregnant. I truly believe my dad got up there to heaven and said âwe gotta somehow get a baby involved.ââ Beni Doll was born shortly before Fatherâs Day, and the âHeaven Sentâ artist shared at that time that if she âcould call you up there in Heaven, I would say thank you for sending me my little girl.â
Alaina shared a sneak peek of an unreleased ballad called âLittle Thingsâ as she shared a post in honor of her father. Listen to it on the final slide of her Instagram post here: